E.vil Girl Action

September 17th, 2015

I am neutropenic. No white blood cells and no immunity. Yesterday they gave me Rituxan (to kill the B cells cells that make antibodies) and IV steroids. The steroids make me agitated and unable to sleep. I’m hoping to get some rest tonight, although I had to take Prednisone today (to step down from the IV steroids.) There are also antifungals, antivirals, antibiotics, etc on board. Soon there will be sleeping pills. But I feel okay. I ate a burger, walked thirteen laps of the ward, and took a two-hour nap. Purty good day.

I’ve been making Chris bring me coffee every morning, although I haven’t tasted it yet. It just visits until Chris deems it too old to drink.

 Tomorrow Chris is going to fly home and see the kids, get some stuff done, and open some mail (maybe – he’s bad at mail). He’ll be back on Sunday. Some representatives of my gang of evil girlfriends are coming to hold down the fort for him (Melanie, Heather P, Jill, and Scott). We’ve been taking vacations together for about 10 years. I’m not sure when we decided that we were E.Vil, but it suits us. Dr. Burt even granted me permission to have a sip of champagne.

Chris spent about 3 hours writing up instructions for them. My husband—he doesn’t usually shower every day, he likes unruly beards, he’s a slob (like me)—he is advising the council of E.Vil on cleanliness.

The below was in his 4-paged single-spaced document. (One of the pages included a map of the ward.)

 “Keep yourself healthy (you guys are smarties and probably don’t need to be told this, but Ima tell you anyway):

  • Wash your hands when your mama told you (after peeing, pooping; before eating)
  • Keep your hands away from your face, hair
  • Bring some hand lotion, you’re going to be washing your hands a lot
  • Keep the hotel, hospital tidy
  • Shower daily, preferably prior to visit
  • If you feel yourself getting sick, do not go to the hospital


Keep the girl healthy:

  • Do not touch the girl
  • Do not kiss the girl (I’m looking at you HP)
  • Do not sneeze on the girl
  • Wash your hands before handling her stuff or handing her anything
  • She hates the smell of the hospital hand-sanitizer, use soap instead
  • There is a container of sanitary (clorox-ish) wipes on the table, if you bring her something from the outside world that’s wipe-able (stuff in bottles, condiments, books) wipe it down when you bring it in. Doesn’t hurt to wipe her table and stuff down once or twice a day.
  • If she leaves the room, make sure she wears her mask, gloves and gown.
  • Do not use her bathroom. Use the ones just outside the 16th floor airlock.”

The note goes on with instructions about how to get to places, food I might like to eat. I am so lucky and grateful.

Regarding the kissing: Sometimes HP says hello with a quick kiss full on the lips. It’s just her way.

In response to Chris’s email, HP wrote me: I’ma kiss you anyway.  Just kidding – I’ll kiss Mel.

To which Mel said: FINALLY

I hope they wait until they get to my room.

12 Responses to “E.vil Girl Action”

  1. David Kwee on September 17, 2015 9:39 pm

    Brave with that burger. Hope it was shoe leather. (Sorry). Have fun with your E.vil girlfriends.

  2. Cody on September 17, 2015 9:39 pm

    It’s good to hear you’re going to get some sweet girlie action. Have fun with your besties.

  3. Linda on September 17, 2015 10:32 pm

    Wow, very thorough of Chris. I’ve lived with a public Heath aficionado for a long time but don’t think he could have done better Have a little E.Vil fun! Thinking of you girl and wishing you the best

  4. Liz on September 17, 2015 10:41 pm

    Chris’s instructions are practical yet LOVELY. Stay well!

  5. Laura on September 18, 2015 12:36 am


  6. Kim on September 18, 2015 5:29 am

    honey badger you are doing soooo well i’m so proud of you and grateful…..i have ms and i’m in a flare right now so i am so grateful you are taking this treatment it gives me hope…..thank you honey badger

  7. Gabrielle on September 18, 2015 8:41 am

    Chris is your knight in shining armor! It’s a rare man you can truly, truly take care of a woman in need. (I know your mind just went to the gutter, but you know what I mean.) So glad your girls will come visit and bring you love. The rest of us are sending you antiseptic love from afar.

    You’re doing exactly what you need to be doing, and you’re doing it exceptionally well. I’m so proud of you and so impressed. Keep chugging.

  8. Heathapatti on September 18, 2015 9:38 am

    Yeah ok, k-Ron. I’ll wait to kiss Mel until we get there. See you in like 2.5 hrs! 😉

  9. Jane on September 18, 2015 10:25 am

    Big hugs and kisses via the E.ther net!

  10. Laurie J. Edwards on September 18, 2015 1:06 pm

    Glad you’re feeling well enough to exercise and eat burgers. Sending you germ-free hugs and kisses. Enjoy your visit.

    BTW, I had a package shipped to the Residence Inn for you, addressed to Chris. It’s supposed to arrive on Sat. Not sure if you can have packages from outside yet, but maybe one of your friends can open it and show it to you from afar.

  11. Kerry Stenke on September 19, 2015 3:12 pm

    You are in good hands! (As long as they keep them to themselves)

  12. Amy on September 20, 2015 8:01 am

    Hi Karen,
    I am actually in Chicago one last day visiting friends before heading to Michigan. I did not think you would be able to have visitors based on some of your recent posts. I would love to stop by if I can. I promise to follow the rules! You can email me Whitfield.amy at gmail or text 397 9089

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